The Role of a Dad to the Children of Shanti Bhavan

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Shanti Bhavan is more than a school for its children — it’s a “home” away from home. During their formative years of four to eighteen, for all but a few months each year, the children stay at Shanti Bhavan. During these fourteen years, they strive for academic excellence and develop the soft skills needed to become professionally successful.

A great majority of our children do not have a father in their lives. Their biological fathers might have passed away or left the family. There are also high instances of alcoholism among impoverished communities, so even when the fathers are present in the home, they may not be involved in their children’s lives. At home, many are cared for primarily by their mothers or grandparents. Some children live with extended families, and a few Shanti Bhavan children are orphans. They long for a father figure in their lives, but unfortunately, for most this person does not exist.

In addition, many children experience trauma at home due to abuse and alcohol-related conflicts. Trauma related to hunger and illness, sexual abuse and violence is very prevalent. The impact of these events linger on, affecting them for years, if not their whole lives.

For these reasons, we chose Shanti Bhavan to be a residential school. The children need a supportive environment, free of fear and deprivation, to flourish as they mature into adults. While teachers, caregivers, and administrative staff play key roles in creating a healthy atmosphere, my part goes beyond being a leader.

At first, I did not expect to be a “dad” to Shanti Bhavan’s children. When I founded Shanti Bhavan, I imagined my role as that of business leader and advisor. I would make sure that the school was supported financially, that the children had what they needed in terms of shelter and food and healthcare, and that the curriculum and extracurricular activities prepared them for successful futures. I have raised a family of my own, so I know full well that those are the things fathers do for their children, but I did not at first connect what I was doing with Shanti Bhavan as “fatherly.” The children knew, though, as almost from the beginning they referred to me as “dad.”

In retrospect, I should not have been surprised. Shanti Bhavan is a home to our children, and as the leader of that home, I have a responsibility to both the students and their parents to be a role model and source of authority.

As a trusted father figure, I encourage the children to do their best and live by high moral standards. While I can be strict if they misbehave or aren’t doing well in their studies, they know that no matter what, I love them and that I am there for them. This emotional support gives the children confidence — something all children require for their mental well-being. Especially children from poor backgrounds facing societal headwinds.

My role as a “dad” in a school may seem unusual, especially for those from the West. Alongside the many components that make up our approach to child development, my steady presence in their lives is emotionally helpful to the children, especially for those who do not have a father. It also plays an essential role in creating a community at Shanti Bhavan. A family environment is something you will quickly notice when you arrive on campus.